1. You have more than 6 commercial jingles memorized.
2. You make references to television that hasn’t been popular in 30 years.
3. You watch Food Network with no intention of cooking, ever.
4. You care about the love lives of the Golden Girls.
5. You have television theme songs on your Ipod.
6. You begin to imagine yourself as the main character of a sitcom.
7. You are paranoid of ridiculous, Three’s Company-esque mix-ups that might lead to someone (showing up to a serious event dressed in some sort of goofy costume, or at an unreasonably late time, or an entirely different location), all of which completely ruin your chance of (getting married, getting a new job, going out with a person you like), but eventually will be fixed by some extraordinary act of dorkiness.
8. You cry when fictional relationships end.
9. You can accurately predict the entire plot of a current sitcom within the first 5 minutes because you’ve seen that episode of (friends, happy days, Sanford and son, will and grace, I Love Lucy, ect.)
10. In situations of boredom you might explain to someone the plot of your favorite episode of I Love Lucy.
11. You don’t watch fat-husband-skinny-wife shows.
12. You LOVE it when people in sitcoms reference other sitcoms because you always get the reference.
13. People ask “So what are you up to this summer?” and you scramble to think of something to say besides “Watching Ellen reruns.”
14. You turn down plans because your favorite episode of a show is on that day.
15. You read other “you know if you are…” lists and think “Hmm, that was on an episode of…”
16. You will watch a marathon of almost anything just because there is a marathon.
17. You schedule TV “events” in your phone.
18. You tell stories about watching TV.
19. You often tell the plots of sitcoms like anecdotes of your friends and then wonder why other people think that’s weird.
20. You discuss the future events of TV and use phrases such as “That just doesn’t seem like something Leslie would do…”, “Can’t you see this plot line setting up!?”, or “Well it depends who’s gonna write that episode…”
21. You talk to the TV and expect an answer.
22. You know the names of the writers of your favorite shows.
23. You judge people by the TV they watch.
EXAMPLE: “Hmph, Glee, I knew it.”
24. When you discover a new show you must tell everyone, and you are mad when they don’t care.
25. You can’t finish your list because an episode of Cheers is coming on.
