WHOA! It was fucking Thanksgiving today!

So today was Thanksgiving.
It was great.
Love the food. Love the fam. Love it.

But today was weird.
Good weird but still weird.

Today I played Cards Against Humanity while drunk... with my mom...

That's... really weird.

So here are some preliminary facts about me so that you truly understand the feelings that today evoked in me.

My mom and I get along fine. She scares me a little but she's my mom and I think that's normal.
But we don't talk a super lot. We're just people who cohabitated for a little while and then I moved out and I call her now and again and I move back into her house when I'm in town and she spends money on me.

Like we love each other don't get me wrong.
But we aren't the fucking Gilmore Girls, Ok?

ok.
It was my turn to pick the winner and I chose "dick fingers" and who takes the card. MY MOTHER.
What?

How do you go from "my mom doesn't know my major" to "my mom and I now share an inside joke and that joke is 'dick fingers'"?

That's not real life.

Anyway later on my aunt was choosing the winner and she picked "double penetration" and of course it was me and everyone at the table was like "omg Morgan?" and my mom said "wow..." and I said "are you proud?" and she said "kind of"

So basically this was a long story to explain to everyone why I am the way I am.
Mostly I'd blame it on dick fingers, double penetration and similar incidents.

Don't play this game with your parents unless you're ready for it.
Or do.
It might work out super well.


PS I had to tell my mom what 'queefing' was so prepare yourself motherfuckers because this game isn't messing around.